You Never Knew
by Dark Horse
Summary: An unlikely pairing proves love can be found in the strangest of places. Under the most unlikely of circumstances.
1. Love is a flower

Here it is. This fic is not a joke, it is serious. So if you don't like it, that's just fine with me. FLAME ME. It'd be great for a laugh. My comments, and thoughts at the end. Enjoy.   
  
Ring ring....... Ring ring.  
  
Dark Horse, pick up the phone this is Square.   
Dark Horse, we know you're home. Come on man  
Hey look man, the next time you say "Screw the Disclaimer" we're taking you in.  
To hell with you man, come on. Just put it in there.  
It's your ASS.   
  
Click.  
  
D.H. looks around, and takes his fingers from the keyboard.   
  
"Who would have called me at this time of night? Everyone knows I've been locked in here writing the hardest fic of my life. Well, I better call my voice mail and see."   
  
He picks up the phone and then quickly replaces it in the cradle.   
  
"Before I forget, I better put that disclaimer at the top of the page, I'll call voice mail when I'm done."  
  
He quickly scrolls to the top, and types these few words: I DON'T OWN THE CHARACTERS USED HERE, SQUARE DOES. I DON'T WANT ANY LAW SUITS OR ANYTHING, SO PLEASE DON'T GET YOUR BOXERS IN A BUNCH OVER THIS THANK YOU SQUARE.  
  
"Everyone knows I hate that disclaimer. Duh, ok so like anyone thinks I'm trying to steal Square's stuff. Oh well, you gotta do what you gotta do."  
  
He picks up the phone, and calls voice mail. After pushing a few more numbers, he plays back his messages. He listens for a while and then smiles, replacing the phone in it's cradle. Sitting back in his chair, and staring at his finished product, he begins to laugh.   
  
"And people wonder why I ditched the answering machine. Well let's log on in, FF.net, here it is, my hardest fic ever... 'You Never Knew'...."  
  
  
  
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You Never Knew  
Dark Horse  
  
  
There are times in life that we all go through, wen we wonder what is is we did wrong. We look back at our days, our months, our weeks, and sometimes even our years to ask ourselves have I wasted my time? It's times like these where we begin to find out who we are, and what we want from life. These times are times that I call times of Self Examination.  
  
I'm not sure all the reasons for these times, but I'm sure for almost everyone the primary cause is love. It seems to me that love is, not only a cure, but a poison. It has the power to change ones dreams for the better, and then fall out from under him like the floor of some psycho amusement park ride. And perhaps that's all love is.   
  
Love it has been said leaves for all the right reasons, and all the wrong. Love itself has been written off and pushed around, and given a bad name at times, and Why? Because love has done anything wrong? No, how can it? love is a plant that needs water and sunlight to grow, two main things it need. Love is not self sufficient, as we like to make believe it is sometimes. It requires care. When love dies, it is because we allow it to do so. Maybe it looses the sunlight, or maybe it isn't watered, but be sure that when it looses either it will die.  
  
In it's place rise bitterness, and anger hatred and resentments. These are the weeds of life. They grow when the beautiful flower of love is dead, and often times while it is dying. It would seem to me that they mock a dying love, and taunt it, delivering it to death even sooner.  
  
That is why perhaps, when love is dead and we are left with our own wicked garden to look at and clean up, we begin to look at the ground in which love grows. It is ourselves. I have seen this principal in action, as I'm sure you have. There comes a time when we look inside and realize that we need to clean up and move on. It takes a while, but we must. Zell Dincht faced one such time not to long ago it seems, you know one of those self examining times, and here's what happened to him, and his garden.  
  
  
  
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The library was a familiar place to him. He'd come there many times to see her. Just to talk to her. He knew he could find her there. This day was no different to him, at least I don't think so. He came in just like he always did to find her, but by the look on her face, he knew something was wrong.  
  
He wasn't sure why, but he could sense that this would not be a happy meeting. The look in her eyes seemed to back that up.   
  
"Look is something wrong?" he asked, trying to find out what it was that caused that cold look in her eyes.   
  
He had asked despite his fear to her her answer. He hadn't let on, but he could tell that they were growing apart. The nature of their meetings lost its sweetness little by little. It was almost as if he could feel them falling apart. However he had done nothing at all to fix that. Maybe it's just my own fears he kept telling himself, maybe there's nothing wrong, but her reply to his question would forever prove his theory to be true.  
  
She looked him straight in the eyes. "Zell, I'm sorry, but it's over." she said it without flinching, and without even so much as a tear or a watery eye. "It's been over for a long time now. We both know it, and it's time for us to move on." Her voice was almost cold.  
  
"But, why didn't you ever tell me?" Zell said, almost choking up. "All this time, three years now, and you never tell me? Why didn't you ever tell me, even once that there was a problem here?" He said, almost angrily. His eyes became watery, but he withheld the tears.  
  
"Look Zell, you and I know that it not going to happen for us. It just isn't going to work because we're too different." She told him while standing to her feet from the chair in which she was sitting. She looked at him sympathetically and continued. "You are a great guy, and it was fun while it lasted, but it's over. You'll find someone else, someone who will sweep you off your feet when you least expect it. You'll find love Zell, I promise, you will." With that she began to walk towards the door. She stopped only once and turned back and said "So I guess this is goodbye Zell, I'll see you around."  
  
Zell stood there shell shocked. The tears came slowly to his eyes as he thought about the times they'd spent together, and all of the happiness that she'd brought to his heart. The tears came faster now, and he sat down and buried his face in his hands. He thought about what all he'd have done for her. The things he would've said. And how maybe he could have changed it. But there was no changing for him now, and the tears began to flow freely and he came to the grave realization that he would not get her back.  
  
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Now, I can't tell ya for sure, because I'm not Zell but I bet you it was that moment, while he was sitting there in that library thinking back on all the times he'd spent with her, that it dawned on him that his garden was dead. Yep I think he came to realize that he'd been watering a plant that well, quite frankly wasn't getting any sunshine. Towards the end I figure the plant was already dead.  
  
Now here's a fact of life. If a plant is dead you can't resurrect it. It doesn't matter how much water you pour, or how much sunlight you give it. If it's dead, it's dead. But perhaps our friend Zell wasn't on the worst end of things. It's been said before that "it's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all."   
  
I won't venture to comment on whether or not that is true, you can make that decision for yourself. What I will say, is for every heart that has grown a beautiful flower of love, there is a heart that has known only weeds.  
  
I feel some semblance of sorrow for that heart. I truly believe that it cries out for love, but it doesn't find it. You don't have to bite a doughnut to know it's sweet. It is the same for love. When you see it in others a part of you longs for it yourself. I'm sure that that's the case. Now I don't believe that there is one true "one" for everyone. As the romantics would like to tell us. I rather believe that if two people are willing to give what it takes, then love can grow and flourish.  
  
Why then, I wonder, do so many walk through life without love it their hearts. outcast from community and friendship. I've seen them. They cling to their three or four so called friends and don't allow themselves to find what it is that they really want in life. A relationship with others and particularly the love of someone else.   
  
Would I go so far as to say that there is something wrong with having three or four friends? No of course not, if that's what makes you happy, then by all means go for it. There are those however who are not happy, and yet they seem to find no escape from their run down boring lives. Not long ago Fujin, stood in that situation. She had the Disciplinary committee, but was she really happy? I dare say no. She put on the show really well, but she wasn't fooling to one person who it mattered to fool... herself.  
  
  
  
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Seifer Almassy, and his Disciplinary Committee were walking down the halls in search of a delinquent underclassman who was skipping out of his class. They talked small talk like they always did. But for some reason, Fujin just wasn't the same.  
  
"Damn it Fu, what is your problem today? You act like someone kicked your ass or something. If you'd like, I could arrange a real ass whipping in the training center to give you a reason." Alamassy stated.  
  
"I've got a reason Almassy." She began, and I'm in just the mood to take your challenge."  
  
Seifer laughed. "I still can't get used to you talking normal. I mean it just doesn't seem right. Whatever happened to good ole' Fu? Ever since the Ultimacia thing, you've been acting all weird. I'm still expecting to hear RAGE, and ANGER and all that shit. This new Fu is just weird."  
  
"Seifer's right..." Raijin chimed in, but was soon stopped with a swift kick to the shins.   
  
Seifer lost it. "Well, I guess it's not a totally new Fu." He said flashing his trademark smile.  
  
"Shut up Seifer, I'm still the same Fujin, I just don't talk like an ass anymore that's all. If you don't like that, too bad. Maybe it's because you felt smarter when I sounded like an idiot." Fujin said insulting his intelligence.  
  
Seifer was about to make a comment about how Fu was acting like a woman, all emotional and stuff, but he was interrupted by an obviously distraught Zell, who had just run around a corner. He wasn't crying, but it was obvious that he had been. He still had tear stained cheeks.  
  
"Awe, did the Chicken - Wuss fall down and hurt himself?" Seifer instantly began teasing Zell. It caught him off guard when when Zell wheeled around and got in a fighting stance and looked like he was ready to kill someone. "Damn wuss, you know you don't want to fight me, just run along. I don't want to have to right you up for picking a fight." Seifer acted tough, but in reality, he wasn't interested in taking on that angry Zell that he saw in front of him.  
  
"RAGE" Fujin yelled at Zell in her typical style. "WRITE UP" she continued.  
  
Zell turned and continued down the hall. He didn't know where he was going, but he had to leave that library, because it held too many memories for him. He turned the corner, and disappeared..  
  
Seifer was laughing at the top of his lungs. "Good job Fujin. I love it when you talk like that. It's just good old Fu."  
  
"Yeah, I guess maybe it is." She said out loud. But she knew differently she knew how she really felt. She knew, and only she knew. What was up with Dincht anyway. He was normally so happy go lucky that it made her sick. That whole damn crew was. Hell, maybe now at least one of them knew what it felt like to be miserable she thought.  
  
  
  
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Maybe it's true what they say, you know, that misery loves company, and if anyone was miserable, it was Fujin, or maybe Zell, or maybe, both of them. One of them punished because of lack of love through their whole life. Another penalized all at once through the realization of it's loss.  
  
Here we are dealing with destitute hearts. Hearts that have weeds growing in them, hearts that are being examined by their owners, and seen to be lacking. When we look at these two individuals, we see that without a doubt they are miserable souls, without a doubt destitute, and broken.  
  
Zell lost the love that he believed in, and felt he wanted for all time. Guess sometimes we all believe a lie. We think we want to be a ballerina, or a movie star, a baseball player, or the president. All good dreams to be sure, but how do those of us who have dreamed those dreams feel if or when we realize that they will never come true. And how much more could this feeling effect those who have believed in the one thing that they thought they would take to the grave with them, and come to find out that it wouldn't happen. Yes, Zell definitely had a reason for his misery, but that's all changed.  
  
Fujin, well, I don't think that she ever knew any real love. I believe Raijin cared for her, but she pushed her poor bro around all the time. Because that's how she felt. She loved Almassy at one time, but then came to the realization that that wouldn't happen. But she'd never tasted anything real. Fujin had never held hands, never kissed anyone, or walked in the moonlight, or had someone to hold. She'd never danced because she'd never had a partner. You should see her dance now.  
  
  
  
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---Ring ring........Ring ring.  
  
"Hello."  
  
---Dark Horse this is Square we've seen your newest work. These Zell/Fujin overtones are not acceptable.  
  
"Screw you"  
  
---Dark Horse, you constantly buck the system you know Fu and Zell would never get together. I'd advise you to drop this series now before you become a laughing stock.  
  
  
Dark horse presses the speaker button, and replaces the telephone in the cradle, and begins typing on his computer.  
  
---What are you doing dark horse. Hello, what's going on?  
  
"Look, I'm writing on the next chapter of "You never Knew" ok. I need to concentrate. Be glad I didn't hang up on you. Now look I know that you people didn't put Zell and Fu together. But you know what I am going to because when you think about it, it works.   
  
The story's called you never knew, and it was supposed to be a one shot that hinted at a Fujin Zell. Since you called I'm starting a second chapter. And I may just release it too. Just because I can.   
  
---Dark horse, you are out of it. Your series The Redemption is floundering because you screwed around with the Hyne story, what makes you think you can pull this off. You are a laughing stock. Fine, this is authors suicide, and your committing it. I hope you enjoy all of your flames. I'm sure you'll get quite a few.   
  
"I'm sure I will too. This is not a comedy piece, it's serious. People don't like to think, and I make them, if they want to flame me, let them. I'm a big boy I can take it. Now, unless you have something earth shattering, I'll have to let you go. I'm busy typing a chapter that I may just release if you don't leave me alone.  
  
---Just one thing  
  
  
"What?"  
  
  
---Is it really a Zuujin?  
  
  
"Well, the world may never know."  
  
D.H. hangs up the phone, and returns to furiously typing. At the top of the screen it reveals the file name. "The Redemption. Chapter 33."  
  
  
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Well there you have it. I know that most readers are turned off. You all think I'm an ass, and I'm trying to goof off. I'm not. This is a serious work, and I am thinking of continuing it. So don't be surprised if I do. For now though, let's assume this is a one shot. I'd like to thank all the people who Have inspired me, put up with me and tolerated me.  
  
Nike Grrrrl - You rock, don't et anyone get you down.  
  
Malice Shaw- You are probably in my opinion the best I've seen Just keep it up. Red Sky rules lol.  
  
Chris- you read my stuff, and I appreciate that a lot. keep it up.  
  
Ji Sun Kim- you aren't afraid to push the edges, and don't care what people think. That's a quality a lot of people don't have. Keep it up.  
  
Zachere- Just a Little Sun and Rain (did I spell that right this time?) Was the greatest Quifer I ever read. It inspired me to write a romantic drama, and thus this story was born. I just started Fire Cross, looking good so far. Keep it up. Thanks for your stories.  
  
To anyone I missed, oh yeah Smithee. Keep it up man, you've got personality, and good grammar.  
  
  
Adios.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Endless Days

Chapter 2: Endless Days  
  
  
It's true, or at least I believe it to be true, That once you have lost love and it is gone from your life it takes time to recover. It is impossible to be sure how long, but one truth I am sure of. If you were to take all of the emotions that a person endures throughout this time, and piece them together in their own space of time that they actually occur it would seem an eternity. This is because those without love loose track of time. There are no weeks, months, or sometimes even years, just an everlasting flow of endless days.   
  
"How relevant exactly is that?" you might ask. Well, that's a good question. This is the reason. In order to understand the end of the story you must first understand the beginning. When is the beginning of love? Does it begin when two people break up? Of course not. Does it begin when two people meet? No, it doesn't. So when is the beginning of love? It begins inside oneself, at such time when a person realizes the truth. And sometimes it will find it's root in the dark times and the endless days. In order to love another you must first love yourself.   
  
  
  
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The rain was falling heavier than ever now. The sky was dark, and there was no break in sight. Wind howled as it gusted through the trees which dotted the landscapes of the Garden. It hadn't rained for ages, or at least it seemed so. Often times it was joked about that perhaps it would never rain again. Even this series of storms that was now making it's way through the skys above came without a warning. It was, despite it's ferocity, a welcome gift to the parched landscapes which so eagerly soaked up the abundant drink which were pouring freely now from the heavens above.  
  
The soil, however, was not the only thing that was parched and barren. Inside of the garden in a small dormitory style room a lone figure sat in the dark listening to the rain as it pelted against the roof in all of it's fury. He didn't move, he seemed almost lifeless. Even the ever so slight rising and falling of his chest seemed insignificant amidst the sounds of the belligerent storm on the outside.   
  
Zell had turned his bed to face the window after the rain had started a few hours before. He turned the light of, and tried to sleep. He was, I suppose, hoping that perhaps this raging storm would in some way if by pure osmosis, send it's flooding waters pouring into his parched and barren heart washing all of his cares away. It hadn't worked.   
  
So, there he sat in the dark. The lightning and wind were intensifying now. It was quite a display. Through his window, he watched it all. It's funny, nature is at it's most beautiful point when it is at it's most hostile.   
  
Even watching the beauty and the fury of nature in all it's power, and authority seemed unfruitful in washing Zell's cares away as he had so desired. It seemed nothing would. He couldn't sleep. He couldn't eat. He couldn't seem to do anything at all except for think. And even at that, it was not of things that he wanted to think about. He felt like crying, or at least so it seemed, but he had no more tears left to cry. He wanted to scream, but his voice trembled and escaped him. He even considered once or twice that maybe he wanted to die. Those thoughts were quickly cast off as he knew all to well how much he loved life itself.  
  
He'd thought for sure this rain would clear his head. Yeah right, it didn't do anything of the sort. It did the opposite. It made him think of everything that had happened to him. It made him think of how he had been wronged, and everything. Finally he broke loose and spoke to himself.  
  
"Why? huh?" he said. "Why me? Why must I have to go on like this. Maybe it's all a dream and I can wake up. Maybe then I'll see that this could not be my reality." He pondered that thought. Then he decided to pinch himself. "It must all be a dream. He thought, or more like a nightmare." He continued thinking aloud.  
  
"Who can I blame for this. I did. My best." He spoke at a slightly louder tone. "Who, who who?"   
  
He got up from his chair and walked over to the window, and stood there staring out. He couldn't see anything but shapes and colors all a blur in the torrential downpour. He continued his monologue asking himself over and over again who's fault it was that he was miserable. Finally He couldn't take it any more, and he yelled at the top of his lungs.   
  
"Why must I be miserable?" He yelled.   
  
Just then a flash of lightning hit very near bye. It illuminated the sky into a bright fluorescent glow. It brightened up the window through which Zell Dincht looked, and for a split second he saw something that he'd been avoiding now these first two weeks since he lost his love at the library. The image he beheld was his own countenance.   
  
It almost frightened him. He looked awful. He was unshaven, and his face seemed terribly tight and bony. His hair was unkempt and his countenance broken. And that's what had become of him. He looked at this image in his window. It lasted mere seconds, but it seemed to last an eternity. He saw himself for who he really was, and what he had become. It made him sick. It was almost more than he could take. He wanted to turn away, but reality just sank it's tentacles in deeper. And deeper and deeper. And then with a clap of thunder it was gone.   
  
"Good riddance" Zell thought aloud. "That's what I am, I can't change it now can I?" He continued as her turned from the window and made his way back to his bed and laid down. Sleep came to Zell that night as it always did. But just like it always had since that fateful day, Zell's slumber was not a peaceful one. It was filled with images of his past. All the times they'd spent together. This time however, it was filled with something even more real, and startling than ever. One solitary picture... of his present.  
  
  
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Well It would seem to me that Zell was facing some grave reminders of the state of his life. It's been said that there are times of Rain, and times of drought. Well, no matter how much water fell outside. There wasn't enough anywhere to fill up his inside. Or was there. Well, there wasn't. Not as far as Zell could see anyway. But nature was proving many things to Zell that evening. He just didn't understand it yet.   
  
First of all, drought comes. It happens, and there is nothing you can do about it. It's a fact of life. You can either live in it, and realize that life goes on. Or you can wallow in your own pain, and not move on, or you can live in the midst of a desert And know that one day the rains will come even on the driest of harts just like the driest ground. Zell wasn't ready to accept it, but it was days like these that would help him learn, and learn well.  
  
And so it goes with the endless days. They seem to just go on forever and ever. Especially to someone who has known the sweet days of love that run swiftly and end so quickly as well. However, there are those people who don't know anything but the endless days of life. They live in the same scheme of endless boredom day in and day out. Never knowing what it's like to live anywhere else. It is these who are caught so off guard when love strikes them by surprise. But then think about it, aren't we all a little off guard when love strikes us. Kinda funny aint it? But that's just the way life goes. Until it shows up, however there is only one life to live and that is the life of wishful thinking. And that is the monotony which can only be found in a life devoid of love.  
  
Fujin was certainly no stranger to a lonely life. No one got near her. She honestly believed that it was because there was something wrong with her, but the truth was no one could get near her because she wouldn't have it. Not to awful long ago she stood in the same situation she'd felt she'd been in all her life asking the same question she always asked. Why me. And so goes the life of one who has never tasted the sweet fruit of love. I guess there was one benefit for Fujin, and that was the fact that she'd never bitten off the bitter end either.  
  
  
  
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Fujin sat up in bed. The morning sunlight had woken her up. It was unexpected especially since for the past few days there'd been nothing but rain and clouds. Funny thing was, that was just the way Fujin liked it. The gray skys and torrential rains of the past few days were perfect for her mood. She'd always liked the color gray, it was so dreary. It was so dismal. It was so... Well, it was so much like Fujin life.  
  
Fuu had never known anything remotely close to happiness. She'd just always been there. Her childhood from as young as she could remember was moving from home to home, and from family to family. By the time she arrived at garden, she felt more like an unwanted house pet than a human being.  
  
It never feels good to be unwanted, and that is exactly how she felt. It's hard to feel otherwise when no ones ever been able to be with you longer than a few months at a time. There was, at least one constant thing in her life. It was Raijin. Raijin and Fujin were inseparable. Whenever they switched families they were together. It was her mother's request.  
  
Ah yes, her mother. There was a name that brought up feelings for her. In fact on this bright sunny morning her mother was the first thing on her mind. No surprise. She always was. Fujin got out of her bed, and walked to the window. She walked slowly. Not as though she were taking her time, but more like she were injured. Maybe she was. She looked out the window for a short time. The sun seemed ten times brighter than usual. She hated that. She didn't like the whole idea of bright sunny days. For some they were a sign of happiness. For Fujin, they were just another time for the same old crap. She didn't need this shit.   
  
She allowed herself to look out the window only momentarily before she drew the blinds closed. It was funny, but she almost instantly felt a little better. To Fuu, darkness meant seclusion, and seclusion meant true happiness. She turned her back to the window, and stared at her bed for a few seconds. It looked inviting. "hell," she thought, "at least when I'm sleeping, I don't have to deal with being awake."   
  
A trite thought true, but not so trite that she didn't believe it. She liked sleeping better than anything else really. And sleep is exactly what she did. She climbed back in bed and soon after was asleep. She didn't need to worry about a little sunlight peeking into her room, she could just shut it out with a little effort like she could everything else.  
  
More sleep, however was not the end of Fujin's day, no she could not be that lucky. She awoke a while later, but this time it was in her world, the world that she knew. It was the dark and dismal feeling of her small dorm room. She slowly sat up in her bed, not feeling too much better than she had earlier, if at all better. But this time she felt more at home. She didn't need all of that sunlight anyway. And she certainly didn't have it at that moment. In her room or her life.   
  
She sat up in bed as the sleep fell like scales from her eyes. As athletic and well proportioned as she was, she looked like shit. And she felt it. Her eyes scanned her surroundings. Her room was small, and very, very plain. she didn't keep anything on her walls because she felt that was not necessary. Besides, what would she put there. In a rack which was neatly set against one wall she had a rather interesting assortment of weaponry. A few gunblades even graced this strange collection. Why she had it, she wasn't even sure. I suppose everyone has a fetish or two for something even the most introverted.  
  
There was a small nightstand next to her bed. On it sat her favorite weapon of all, and she never strayed far from it. It wasn't out of fear that she kept it there, but more out of habit. She'd kept it with her ever since she was a child. She'd always know exactly where it was at all times. That was for sure.   
  
She rose from her bed and walked slowly to her dresser. It was the only other piece of furniture in her room. She approached the dresser and leaned over resting her palms on it's smooth, nearly empty surface and looked into the mirror. "Damn Fuu," She thought aloud. "You look like a lump of shit."   
  
The fact of the matter was that Fujin did not look her best, and yet she still didn't look bad.. She stretched. It actually felt good. It seemed to release a lot of the tension that she was feeling in her back. She actually possessed quite beautiful but she never did anything to show it off. She didn't even know she had any attractive features. Some boys around the garden had picked up on it and wondered why she never showed any interest in anyone. but they were definitely not going to approach her. They didn't want to face her rejection, or her wrath. Both of which they knew they'd receive if they tried anything. But what they have given to see her now in those short shorts and cut off tank top. Hell, it wouldn't have mattered if they all told her she was pretty, because she still would have felt awful anyway. She felt ugly inside, so it didn't matter what went on on the outside.  
  
She finished stretching, but continued looking in the mirror. "Fuu, you are one ugly bitch" she thought. "If only you were beautiful like your mother." Her thoughts paused on her mother. She'd never really known her mother. It was so weird though. She'd always felt a bond to her mother despite the fact that she'd never known her. All she had to remind her of her mother was kept in a drawer at the bottom of her dresser. She took a little time to open it at that moment.   
  
Peering inside she saw the few things she had left of her mother. On the top was a picture. Anyone who didn't know fuu's mother would have sworn up and down that it was Fujin with a makeover. But it wasn't Fujin had never even felt as beautiful as the woman in that picture looked. And she figured she never would.  
  
Underneath the picture was a diamond necklace. It was the most beautiful necklace she'd ever seen, and it had been worn many times by her mother. In fact her mother was wearing it in that picture.  
  
On the bottom of the drawer folded up was a long white evening gown. It was stunning in presence even from the bottom of the drawer while folded up. It looked much more stunning on the gorgeous young woman who wore it in the picture in Fuu's dresser.   
  
She gently picked up the picture, and held in her hands. Looking at the picture, a tear crossed her eye. She looked right at the picture for the longest time. "I wish I could have known you mother. Then I wouldn't be so lonely. If only I could be as gorgeous and fun as you were then maybe I could become something some day. Maybe I'd be a princess like you were.  
  
It was sad. It would seem like an emotional event to the unknowing onlooker, but it was nothing unusual. In fact, Fuu did this same thing every day. Some days even more than once. Why she loved her mother, the woman she never meet was unsure. The main reason, I believe is because she knew she couldn't have been as bad as the father she'd known.  
  
Her thoughts ran for a while. And she seemed more like a confused little girl than the hard woman she'd become. But even the hardest cases have to let their guard down every now and then. If life was her prison then these times of thinking about her mother were her three meals warm bed and roof over her head. Everything else was her punishment. For what, she wasn't sure. But it felt like hell. And her life was full of these hideous seemingly endless days.  
  
  
  
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Now there are too people who were going through some stuff. Now it's true that to them their lives must have seemed endless at these times. I mean one of them had just lost the one he'd already made up his mind he would be with forever, and the other one never knew the love of anyone at all. With the exception of a mother who she idolized, but figured shed never be able to live up to .   
  
I figure though that perhaps their similarities perhaps outweighed their differences at that time in their lives. Both of them were living in darkness. The only difference between the two was their reason for being there. The first was there because he was put there, and the second because she put herself there. But when you think about it. Their realities were both the same. They were living in the most complete of emptiness. The emptiness that is caused by the lack of someone to love. The lack of some strange missing piece that they both are searching for, and neither is having any luck finding. They might not have been able to see it at the time. But there was an end for them just like all of us. Despite the fact that at times our days seem endless.  
  
  
  
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Authors Notes:  
  
There it is, another chapter. Now I wrote this originally for the challenge. The prologue was actually a one shot. But you all asked for more, and you're getting it. But this story isn't easy. Oh it's fun to write don't get me wrong. I think it'll be awesome, but If I don't get review support, I'm afraid I may just have to pull it. I apologize, but everyone needs their motivation. So if you like it and want more, review it. If you think it sucks flame it don't review it, do what ever you want with it. Thanks.   
  
D.H.  
  
  
  
  
  



	3. Vital Signs

THE ROAD LESS TAKEN  
Robert Frost....   
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveler, long I stood And looked down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth. Then took the other, as just as fair, And having perhaps the better claim, Because it was grassy and wanted wear; Though as for that the passing there Had worn them really about the same. And both that morning equally lay In leaves no step had trodden black. Oh, I kept the first for another day! Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back. I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-- I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.   
  
  
Perhaps the rest of this story could so be described as the road not taken. Whenever we go anywhere or do anything in life. There are a series of choices that we make. Once those choices are made, they are sealed forever in this thread we call life. There are no true second chances on this road.   
  
The circle of life, I'm just not convinced. Life to me would be an ongoing journey. A trip to a new place, and a new day. Each choice bringing about a new hope, and a new begining. Always the same road, never the same place. It's been said that "All roads lead to another road for renegades, rebels and rogues" Perhaps that statement is true of the heart.   
  
The beauty of love is when two hearts meet along the streets of life, and decide to share a journey together for a time. To let their roads run together, at least for a little while. The other side to that story is the tragedy that happens when one of those hearts chooses another road.   
  
There is yet another piece that we shall see. How hard it is to walk the path alone. To make each choice by yourself and to never experience it with someone else. When we compare the downsides of love which are having loved and lost, and never having loved at all, it is hard to say with any degree of certainty which is the better claim. This one thing I know. Neither are enjoyable experiences. However, they are all a direct result of the roads taken in life.   
  
And so we have the players set on the great stage of life. Fujin, and Zell. We've seen what brought them to the point of brokenness. Where they can't hardly walk a path let alone decide which one to take. Let's look deeper now into their choices the choices that perhaps brought their roads together.  
  
  
  
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It was about noon and the sun was shining brightly through Zell's window. He set down the magazine he'd been reading for a while, and walked to the window. It was nice to look outside and see green and sunshine. The bright radiant light of the sun seemed to penetrate deeply into his soul. He soaked it in. And then all at once came to a shocking revelation.  
  
He felt ok. He didn't feel good, but he felt like maybe he could get to his feet, and walk around again. Maybe even leave the room in which he'd lived in for the last month and a half. Yes, for the first time, he realized that maybe he wasn't going to die after all.   
  
He stood there for a while loosing track of time. He just let the sun wash his soul clean. It felt good. It felt good to put a little ease to the raging ache he suffered inside. It felt good to breathe in the warm air of a bright sunny day. It felt good to be alive.  
  
Zell wandered over to the speed bag that he had hanging in the corner of his room. "this thing's been my partner for a long time." he thought. Then he traced his finger over it. Dust fell to the ground. "Yeah, I guess it's been a while since I've used this thing" He continued thinking. He actually chuckled to himself as he happened to catch a glimpse of himself in the mirror. "Wow buddy, you look like shit!" He found himself thinking.  
  
He walked over to his top dresser drawer and slid it open. Inside he found his old training gui that he wore under the training of Master Lei. He removed it gently and put it on. Then he took his black headband and belt out of the drawer and put them on as well. He looked in the mirror. There he saw a reflection of who he really was. Zell Dincht, the martial arts expert.  
  
Zell walked over to the window. He made some space amidst all the mess that had built up in the last few weeks, and he sat down in the sunlight and began to meditate. He cleared his mind of everything, and concentrated on the feeling of the warm sunlight on his face. He felt alive.   
  
It had been quite some time since Zell had done this, years actually. Why then was he doing it now. Maybe because he'd decided to find his way again. And he knew that this would help. Maybe because that was the way he remembered feeling his best. His reasons at that point were no longer relevant. What Zell was doing was now relative to his future not his past.  
  
He must have sat there peacefully for at least an hour. And then it happened. A thought slipped into his head. Then another. He tried to boot them out, but he was unsuccessful. They were thoughts of her. Thoughts of the girl he had tried so hard to forget about. But this time these thoughts weren't accompanied by tears, they were accompanied by rage.  
  
How could she have done this to him? What had he done wrong? Those were the thoughts he'd been thinking. The more he thought, the more angry he became. He got up from his seated position, and walked back to his dresser. Inside the drawer he found his gloves. He slipped them on and walked over to the mirror. he threw a series of shadowboxing moves, and then sensed the sudden pain in his body.  
  
"Ok maybe I should do a little stretching first." he thought out loud. So he proceeded with his routine of stretches, and then began attacking the bag. he worked on his techniques for a bit just to get his rhythm back. Then he worked on some quick combinations. He was feeling good but not nearly back to where he should be. But he practiced on.  
  
The thoughts of his ex were spinning in his head. he began attacking the bag more fiercely now. Each thought equaling a devastating combo to the speed bag. His skills returned as his desire returned. He became a flowing object. Each strike was immediately succeeded by another. He was faster than he'd ever been. Running on sheer emotion and adrenaline, he went at it with all his might. Finally the hinge on his speedbag couldn't take it any more, and with one swift kick it went spiraling into the wall.  
  
Zell stopped for a moment taking a little time to breathe. but he wasn't finished yet. He wasn't about to quit training It felt too good. He stood before the mirror. His headband was wet, as was his gui, but he didn't feel that. He was more interested in what he saw. For once, in that mirror, he saw what he'd looked for all his life. The warrior that Master Lei always told him he could be.   
  
Zell remembered his training well. And he stood there in front of that mirror, and went through it all over again. What he learned at white belt, the simple fundamental techniques that he'd used so many times to win so many battles. The pictures came into his mind as he went through from level to level everything he'd learned. He remembered wining his first tournament. He could see the look on Mater Lei's face, and could still hear him saying. "Zell you are a proud warrior. Never loose this moment."  
  
Then he remembered the advanced techniques he'd learned as a Brown and Black belt, all those high flying kicks and takedowns, and submissions. he even recalled many that he'd forgotten. Each one came with it's own memory of Master Lei carefully instructing him like a father. True, his training was hard, but he was better for it. No, he was the best because of it.  
  
But all the memories weren't sweet. He remembered the day that Master Lei had died. He was devastated. He wondered how he could go on. How could he, without Master Lei to teach him? What would he become. Before Lei died, he looked up at Zell and said this.   
  
"Zell, you are my greatest student, and a proud member of our dojo. But one day you will become more than that. You will be the greatest in our art form, And you will take part in the saving of the world. Remember Zell, I will be with you." Then he closed his eyes and died.  
  
Zell found those days hard, oh so hard. But he chose to move on, with the help of his mother. He enrolled in Garden. It took a while, but eventually he became a SeeD and honored Master Lei's memory by helping defeat Ultimacia. He remembered his sadness then. He thought about his pain now. It was funny that after Master Lei had died he was crushed. For a half a year he had wasted his time. Finally deciding to move on. He wasn't going to let that happen this time. Besides, He didn't need love anyway. He just needed to be what he was.  
  
Besides that he was still not the greatest martial artist yet. He needed to train. For his honor. For the honor of Master Lei. And train is exactly what he did all that afternoon. It was amazing, but he was actually showing the signs of life again, and it was a good thing too. For his sake.  
  
After he finished that evening, he was tired beyond belief, and hungry, oh so hungry. He remembered that he hadn't had anything good to eat for a long time. And then the craving hit him. He wanted a hot dog. He went and jumped into the shower, and threw his gui into the wash. When he got out, he put the Gui into the drier, and returned to his room. He got dressed and started towards the cafeteria.   
  
Along the way he thought about how he'd been placed on reserve duty instead of active roster for the past few weeks. He felt it was about time for him to be placed back on the active roster. And he wanted to prove it. "After I eat, I'm going for a few light rounds at the training center. Then I'll go see Cid and Leonhart. and ask to be placed back on the roster."   
  
He reached the Cafeteria and waited in line. There were quite a few people in the room, but the line was considerably short. It didn't take him long to get his hot dog, and go find a table. He lifted the hot-dog to his mouth and took a huge bite. It tasted great. It had been a while since he'd bitten off a lucious piece of hot dog. It was pure ecstasy.  
  
He sat there and ate his hot dog. Most of the time he didn't even pay attention to the fact that he was alone. But the thought did cross his mind several times. However he was able to ignore it and eat away. Sure, he still hurt, but he was brimming with the thing he'd lost for quite some time, and that's life.  
  
  
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The disciplinary committee was making their usual rounds. There were a few hooky players here, and a few out of control classmen there, but for the most part, it was a pretty easy day. Seifer and Fujin were making small talk, but nothing too much to speak of. Honestly the past few months she'd been getting sick of him all together. She'd tried to just push it off, but all he did was make comments about the girls at Garden, and push her and Raijin around like twits. She tried her best to keep herself from snapping, but by later on in the day Fuu was getting pretty pissed at Seifer's mannerisms and finally he set her off.  
  
"Fuu, you sure have been getting all emotional on me lately. I think you're starting to turn into a lady on me or something. You sure as Hell ain't the tough hard assed Fujin we all love here" He flashed her the grin, but it was short lived because she jumped him like an alley cat.  
  
"Fuck you Seifer, you can't even spell the word lady. And whenever you try to say it, it comes out as B-I-T-C-H. I can't fucking stand it anymore. You have the biggest fucking ego in the whole world. Why don't you go jump off a Hyne Damned cliff" She looked at him squarely. The fury was obvious in her eyes.  
  
"Watch your mouth when you talk to me Fujin. I ain't no pushover. I thought we were all friends here. But you've been getting really disrespectful to me lately, and I ain't going to put up with it. You want to be a part of this group, then you just do one thing, and that's whatever I say. Got it?" He tried right away to put her in her place, but it didn't seem to work.  
  
"Piss off Seifer. I don't need you like you seem to think. In case you forget, I'm the one who got you the position as head of the Disciplinary Committee anyway. If I hadn't pushed for you, it would have been me. You know what, I don't need this Disciplinary committee anyway. I want to be a SeeD, and I'm going to do it. And I don't need your help. So eat me. Seifer, just eat me." She finished. I don't even think she believed what she just said, but now it was too late to do anything about it. Besides it really was her dream to become a SeeD, and now, without a thought, she just decided to pursue it.  
  
  
  
Seifer glared at her. Then he smirked. "Hey Raijin, did you hear that. Fuu's going to be a SeeD?" He started laughing. "Fujin, you can't spell SeeD." He grinned at her. "You want to be a Garden Student? Ok, then I'll treat you like one. I want you to register for some more classes, and I better not catch you breaking any rules. You got it? A SeeD Fujin that's a joke. You'll never ever be a SeeD. Now consider yourself excused." He motioned for her to leave.   
  
"Gladly. Oh, I'm glad you liked my line about not being able to spell. That was priceless. So priceless you stole it. See ya around Seifer." And she turned and walked away. Raijin was close behind her.  
  
"Where do you think you're going Raijin?" Seifer yelled.   
  
"I was just going with Fujin ya know." He answered.  
  
"Well now, you're staying with me." Seifer said. Now tapping his blade on his shoulder steadily.  
  
"Oh, Ok ya know. I'll see ya Fujin." He said, and quickly returned to Seifer.  
  
"Yeah Rai, See ya around." Was all she said, and she started back to her quarters.   
  
Along the way she thought about what she'd just done. She'd quit the disciplinary committee. And decided to try to become a SeeD. At her age, what was she thinking. And why? Why did she decide to do that? All out of emotion.   
  
She had never been an emotional person. Or, maybe she had. But in either case, she'd never shown it. All of the sudden in the past few months, it had started leaking out of her. It seemed she couldn't hold it back no matter how hard she tried. And she tried hard. Maybe it was the fact that she really had wanted to be a SeeD all her life, and she couldn't resist the challenge. Or maybe it was the fact that she realized she had no true friends, and nothing to live for. But whatever the reason. She had chosen her path, and she was prepared to walk it.   
  
She knew that it was what she wanted. And she knew that if she tried hard enough she would make it, she knew she would. As she opened the door to her room, she thought about what she needed to do. Ah yes. She needed to talk to Leonhart about registering for the SeeD curriculum. She had a few minutes before she needed to go, so she figured she'd take a shower, and change clothes.   
  
She got out and went to her room. She opened her drawer, and took out the picture of her mother. There her mom was in that beautiful dress that she'd left to her daughter. One day I'll wear that momma I promise one day I will. She put the picture back in it's place and closed the drawer. She slid on her usual outfit. But she left the eye patch off. Funny thing, she didn't really need it. And besides..... it wasn't very lady like. Ladylike, now that was a funny thing for Fuu to be considering, but it was true. She'd been awakening to the fact that being a girl didn't make one weak. Oh she still had a long ways to go, but she was awakening. Slowly, but surely she was discovering the signs of life.   
  
  
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Well now. There's a little less dreary tone to the story. But don't get too excited yet. Their woes aren't over. In some respects, they're just beginning. But in any case we see now that roads are being set. Choices are being made. These are the choices that bring people together. But they are not to unlike the changes that tear people apart. They merely swing in with a different favor.  
  
  
To all good stories, there is a bad, and to all bad stories there is a good. I've done the best I can to set it up. From here on in. I leave the interpretations mostly to you. Oh, I'll pop in from time to time just to check on ya, but only from time to time. In the mean while I'll just sit hear at the keys and do my best to spin this story to please.  
  



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